Wednesday, May 7, 2008

"Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."
-- Harvey Fierstein

I think this quote goes to the root of everything we need to learn. We spend so much time living our lives for others, or doing things for others, that we forget to do things for ourselves. So remember, especially in this weight loss journey, do it for yourself, do it because you want to! Because you are who really matters.

So I got some news yesterday, I can't say I haven't been expecting that it would come. I've written several times about my mom, in several different ways. The first being that she is not terribly supportive of me, and my efforts to lose weight. I often feel that this is almost a jealous defense mechanism, as she is overweight, and I think she doesn't think she can lose weight and keep it off. So she is jealous that I have lost weight, and for the most part (we won't talk about Christmas!), have kept it off.

Well in the second way I've talked about her, I've mentioned that she is overweight, with bad eating habits, and that I've talked to her about joining weight watchers with me in order to lose some weight, and learn new eating habits. Well she's always resisted, most of the time saying "I know what I have to eat, I don't need to count points". So I always drop it.

Well yesterday I am on my way out of work, and I notice she is eating chopped up bell peppers, instead of her normal vending machine fare (I work for the family business, in case no one knows that). Well I mention that's a good choice, and she said she is trying to "be better" with her eating, and I said, well I'm proud of you.

She tells me she is beginning to have problems with her blood sugar. I've always worried about Type 2 Diabetes with her, because of the way she eats, and her weight, and it now looks like my worries are coming true. She said last time she had her blood drawn, her sugar was high, and now she is starting to get some of the classic symptoms of diabetes. So she knows she needs to change. It's scary. I'm glad I caught myself and changed my life before I started getting major medical issues.

But I guess my real question for you guys, is how do I work with her on her eating habits? Do I push alot and try for healthier options? Weight Watchers Subscription for Mothers Day? Or do I just let her ask me questions, and let her come to me on it? I'm not sure which route would be more productive.

As far as me, I'm doing well OP. I got a walk in on Monday, and hit the treadmill for 30 minutes last night. I've also been tracking EVERYTHING. Now yesterday I did end up using 3 of the 4 activity points that I got, but I was hungry, so I figure that is ok. Plus I've never tracked like this, so I think I actually ate less.

I'm feeling a bit "thinner" this week than I was last week, so maybe I won't see such a big TOM gain this week since I gained last week, that would be great!

I want to get out and walk the dog, and ride my bike tonight, but the weather isn't cooperating, so that might not happen (can we say 25mph winds and rain! yay!)...actually bums me out, kinda scary that it bums me out really. Since when did I become one of those exercise freaks? yikes!

Alright, I gotta get back to work, but thanks so much for listening, and for your kind comments, they make the world a brighter place!


Diet Coke and Zingers said...

I think your response to your mom was perfect. Making a positive comment is just what we all need to keep going. None of us like to be lectured and it sounds like your mom is especially defensive. You might just keep going with positive comments about how proud you are that she is taking care of herself and maybe try sharing some of your favorite snack ideas with her or bringing some extra to work for her. You are doing great and by the way I totally see a difference! You can see it in your face too!

jodi said...

i agree - i think the best thing you can do is just be as supportive as possible w/out being over bearing... tell her that if she has any questions or needs suggestions for snacks, etc. - that you'd be more than happy to help... though a great idea for mother's day, a WW subscription might be too much at one time... give it some time and if things don't improve in a few months, you can suggest it to her then... maybe it would be a good bday or xmas present... :o)

Fatinah said...

I would try to be encouraging when you can (positive reinforcement when you see her making the right choice) but she is going to be dealing with a lot after finding out that she has this new health issue. I know if I have someone pushing at me it turns me the other way.....I like the idea of bringing extra snacks....good luck!!

Rebecca M. said...

my mom is totally the same way.

i don't even bother anymore because it causes so much drama.

good luck though!

Christina said...

I think a membership to weight watchers for mom's day is a super great idea. If that is too agressive how about offering a months worth of homemade lunches by you for her. She saves on making or buying her lunch and you can prepare healthy low point lunches and snacks :)

Kathy said...

Well, young thing, here's one I can speak to with My whole family let me come to the decision on my own that I needed to "clean up my act". I was at the exact same point at your own mother with the Type II Diabetes...the numbers creeping higher each time I had my blood sugar tested. But once I was on that path, they have been so supportive. They always mention how I'm looking thinner or tell me that they are so proud of me. They consult with me about dishes that fit into my food plan before preparing family dinners. But they never, never, never say anything if I choose to indulge. No "should you be eating that" or "what happened to the diet" or anything of the sort. They only point out the POSITIVE things I do and that is so empowering! I love them for it! So, my advice is to keep setting a good example yourself, praise to high heaven anything she does that is positive, but to let her decide for herself how she will approach the problem and only offer advice if she asks.
I'll bet you're a good daughter!!!

Steph said...

I think you did the right thing - you can't make your mom do anything - trust me, my dad is a diabetic and all the griping in the world doesn't cause him to put down the white bread - ughhh! Maybe you can include her in evening walks - exercise does wonders to help control blood sugar. Read up on diabetes and good diets - that way you can be educated and offer supportive, informed suggestions.

You should be proud of yourself - it is obvious that your lifestyle has directly impacted and inspired her!

Pudgey Penguin said...

Wow, sounds like we're in a very similar situation. I think she is going to have to decide to make the change, and all you can really do is be there to support her every step of the way. I think about how many times I "tried" to lose weight and eat healthier heart wasnt in it so it wasnt successful. It sounds like the medical issues were enough to make your mom think twice about how she was eating. Perhaps you can share some of your favorite recipes with her or some of your favorite snacks? Little subtle thins that will hopefully not turn her off.

Good luck! By the way, the before/after shots from your last post were awesome! You completely can see the difference 10 lbs later!!! I cant wait for my first 10!

Christina said...

lost was good but Grey's was better, so you got the best out of the two. The last elevator scene with Derek and McSteamy...Oh my what Derek said...amazing!